Wednesday, July 12, 2006

On the Road

I went to see the USA in my Chevrolet, but couldn’t see anything because of the schmucks in their trucks.

I came of age reading Kerouac, whose name still fills my head with that long lost American night of the open road that went on forever, the smell of old cars, the mystery of neon lights from road houses with 50 cent beer and juke boxes that took nickels.

There are still a few, scattered and hidden scraps of old America left in places like South Florida, the kitschy shell shops and diners and dives and tourist cabins and weathered marinas and clap-board fish shacks and fruit stands, but like the arteries of my generation, the clogged roads are increasingly lined with Sheratonhyattholidayinnmarriot mountains of concrete corporate sameness and the plastic sign forests of frenzied franchise foodmongers blaze like ugly flowers forever and ever, road without end, without variation, without sense of place. Sometimes, cruising in the sealed and air conditioned car, if you can take your eyes off the roadrage racers with the ghetto wheels and megawatts of distorted bass and cell phone gabbing drivers; the videoscreens glowing behind blacked out windows long enough, you can see the clear turquoise and aqua waters of the Florida Keys.

The streets of Key West’s old town are lined with American Victorian architecture of the Southern sort, slowly and gently decaying and peeling in the soup thick and stewpot hot air, but a cruise ship the size of Cincinnati fills those streets with sunburn-red tourists by the thousands, more shabbily dressed than the homeless men who sleep in the vacant lot next to the VFW hall on Elizabeth street where feral chickens peck in the dirt for bugs. Somewhere in the old harbor someone is playing a guitar and trying to sound like Dylan but you can only hear it through the BAROOM BOOM – BABOOM BOOM from someone’s fully pimped, chrome wheeled and purple Japanese bubble car with Pokemon eyes weaving slowly through the Excursions and Navigators and Hummers and drunks on scooters while somewhere in the dark, out behind the honky-tonk hell, the vast and blood-warm Gulf of Mexico glows softly in the moonlight.

5 comments:

Crankyboy said...

Yes the good old days when you couldn't say the word "pregnant" on t.v. and Rob and Laura Petri slept in twin beds. Oh and the good old days of segregation and doctors pitching cigarettes in ads. I fondly read about women not being allowed to vote, children working in coal mines and turning our rivers into garbage dumps. The good old days?

Capt. Fogg said...

How stunningly inapposite! What the holy hip hop hell are you talking about? You didn't read what I wrote.

I'm not talking about "good old days," just about reality Vs. Retail - experience Vs entertainment - the universe Vs. Disney World - authentic Vs. Phoney.

Kerouac wrote about discovery, about noticing long ignored reality and discarding phoney consumer culture, about savoring life rather than wasting it. Me too.

Only in the ugly new Consumer America can people stand in front of the Grand Canyon and watch a music video about pimps and whores, go to Orlando and think they've been in Paris, drive through stunning natural landscapes in a sealed black box watching videos.

If you prefer being sealed up in a glass box Hyatt looking out at the beach rather than getting your feet wet; if you prefer "baboom boom" to the hiss of the waves on pristine sand, then why the hell go there and spoil the place for everyone else?

I'm arguing for the experience of reality instead of a tasteless plastic simulacrum of it marketed as entertainment and which destroys the real thing. Get it?

What ever it is you're smoking - stop smoking it!

Crankyboy said...

I like sameness - it makes me feel safe and prevents homesickness. I like to know that whether I'm in Illinois, Florida or Holland my McDonald's fries will taste the same. Yum.

Crankyboy said...

Yes - the good old days of mom and pop businesses and undeveloped areas. I get it. Got to take the good with the bad. Was there more bad than good back then in your romanticized small town America? Sure, candy was a penny or a nickel from the mom and pop store but what unspeakable horors were happening in society that went unspoken?

Capt. Fogg said...

Jesus - this has nothing whatever to do with what I wrote.

You're either jerking my chain, stoned out of your mind or a Republican.

So far you've defended drunken mayhem, reckless driving, toxic cuisine, destruction of natural resources for private gain, monopoly and corporate oligarchy as the price we have to pay for voting rights. Maybe you are a Republican psycho.

And then there's the "unspeakable horror" of not driving monster trucks, of not being a disney zombie, of not having hordes of drunks puking on their shoes and blowing horns all night long, the horror of not paving over paradise and selling heaven to build a Hyatt. Yep, you are a Republican: sweat shop shoes, sweat shop iPod and all.

So you think all Liberals are racist bigot, totalitarian tyrants, right?