Don't Tase me Stewardess!

The airlines have been treating us like cattle for quite a while now or when we're lucky, like dogs, but so far the cattle prods and shock collars have remained the tools of the Federal government. No, it's not a Saturday Night Live skit, a Canadian company really is trying to sell the idea that we all, as airline passengers, should wear a device that allows the flight crew to zap the hell out of us if we get unruly, uppity, unappreciative or terroristic. The definition is really up to them and may vary according to how long they've been working that day and with other personal factors.

Great idea, since them "terrists" aren't smart enough to use clear Teflon tape or to make a device that sets off the shock cuffs or collars. It certainly wouldn't cause any weak, young or elderly passengers to die if your "flight attendant" were to see someone praying to Allah and turn on the zapper, or if the damn thing just malfunctioned.

The promotional video begins with what has become the universal symbol of somebody trying to make us do or believe something stupid: the 9/11 crash footage. I haven't the slightest reason to believe any airline would ever adopt this technology, but my advice is that whenever you see the smoking towers, change the channel or hit delete. Lamperd can brush off objections as the careless and unpatriotic sentiments of "privacy advocates" but I hope most of us can understand that treating people like cattle in a pen, to be subjected to extreme pain and the terror of its expectation at the whim of a corporation is the complete end of any pretense to freedom and an invitation to insurrection.